Cutting Hedge Fashions auf Der Meatpacker
Der MEATPACKER District, NYC-
Ich bin stehen in line for the electro-techno-pop club Pressure- auf der Meatpacker District- an uber cool place where the young und pretty faces have come all night the party to make! I have just arrived auf Berlin. I want to see Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp und drool am my silk blouse, but this line is sooo long. Inefficiency. Then I see them, suddenly, I am curious. Three gorgeous men auf fashions of home, hipsters from die Mitte am Berlin. They can’t be New Yorkers, are they? I am full of giggles. I approach, cautiously, I think I see Nicolas Cage, where I immediately almost faint, but he isn’t the movie star who races fast autos in movieland! “Hey, you, Nick Cage,” I scream, “What do you do in New York City?” He makes a turn around. It is not Nicholas Cage, “Listen, lady, the name’s Thornbush. Claude Thornbush. And we’re a Hedge Fund, but people mistaken us for models all the time. You’re not the first.” I giggles again. I am not a lady!
Zie other one, Dutch his name, he turns to me, “Do you like knockwurst?” But of course I do. I feel like having a Bavarian sausage now, mit mustard und sauerkraut! And then I see it, his sausage is inside of the pants! SO GEIL! I turn back quickly, rosey cheeks, and speak to them. Guys, I say, we can make millions of money auf these pants. Men in Berlin will line up along the FreidrichStrasse and buy diese! They will be in the Couture houses, Marc Jacobs will copy, even Hugo, Mr. Boss will want these pants for the Spring! Dann it happens. Skip, the really cute one, klein und beefy like ein Hungarian train conductor (secret crush), he turn to me and say, “They’re already in all those places, lady, we’re getting VIP service inside this hot club. That’s how we do at Claude S. Dutchy, LLC!” I have giggles about this, again. Was ist ein hedge fund?
Ich habe no idea what just happened! Claude S. Who? But for all my readers, I have finally found die cutting hedge fashions in New York CIty, auf Meatpacker. Tomorrow I go to MOMA, and then we eat at Freeman’s Alley where all zie models eat on rabbit shank and drink framboise! But what memory I will keep most? The men of Claude S. Dutchy standing in line of the Pressure Hot Club, of course, the one en diese fashions of der Fatherland! Watch out Berlin! Watch out Hamburg! Watch out Dusseldorf! Amerikan tight pants are coming to the streets! Und Karl, I have found new models for the Spring season!
Renni Hansel Ramstein
OG Deutsch Magazine
